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 the Southern New England Anti Slavery Coalition

Leading up to Dave's abduction 

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leading up to Dave's abduction
Last revised 11/30/05

Significance of key incidents of these events
Key people involved in these events
Incidents leading up to these events
Detail of these events
Some of the later developments related to or that followed these events

 
WORK ON THIS PAGE IS STILL IN PROGRESS

Significance of key incidents of these events

 

Key people involved in these events

 

Incidents leading up to these events

  • additional information, mostly from correspondence and other notes, of incidents before May 2002 will be added to this web site as time allows

  • David ______  moved to our local area of Southeastern Connecticut in February, 2002.  I met him just after that and we quickly became friends

  • At the time, I had long been in the process of trying to end an eighteen year “entanglement” with Bob Heively, a very controlling individual

  • Dave was suffering the breakdown of his almost two year marriage to Sara “Sally” Assante ______ , who lived in Massachusetts, either in Boston or Stroughton, at that time  

 

Detail of these events

  • 05/05/05 John's Cafe Anniversary celebration
    (see website I'd created beginning June 2002, devoted to John's Cafe)

    • Dunbar is trying to help Heively manipulate my association with Heively

      • Heively had told me, on Friday and that Sunday morning, to call him and tell him when I was leaving my house in Waterford to go to a day-time event at John's Cafe in Mystic.  I told Heively, both times, that it wasn't necessary for him to know that and that I didn't want him to be continually monitoring me.

      • Shortly after I arrived at John's Cafe, Rus Dunbar interrupted a conversation that had just started between Dave and myself, Rus having made a cell phone call to Heively and, handing the phone to me, telling me to get on the phone and tell Bob that I was there.  Laura Joyner was bartending.  I complied with Rus's demand because doing otherwise would probably have caused a scene of me against Laura and Rus.

    • After I get off the phone, Dave comes to talk with me again

      I learn that Heively had been leading people to believe that we are husband and wife, when were never even "girlfriend and boyfriend"

      • from an email sent 05/14/02:

        "I've now told him [Dave] and other people that we [Heively and I] are "not even boyfriend and girlfriend" and I've told Bob about this also. Dave also understood why I found this upsetting [that Heively had been leading people to believe that we are husband and wife] and I thus realized that other people there [those who frequent John's Cafe and know me from there] would also be understanding despite how sympathetic they are with Bob because of his mother.

        The next time I was talking with Dave, Bob came all the way down to the end of the bar where we were talking, he'd been at the opposite end, and stuck his head between ours. Definitely disrupted our conversation, but Dave knew what was going on and knew how to amiably handle it.

        I've talked with Bob about this since, how he doesn't need to monitor all of my conversations, how I have a right to conversations that don't include him. That I want him to give me some air (this now on the phone to him ... last Sunday). His reply is his pat: "shall I tell those people then?" in other words, his threat to interfere with my interaction with other people."

      • Until the full account of this is added to the web site, see the emails listed under station wagon on the Quick Reference page


    • many drinks suddenly being "bought" for Dave

      • At the gathering at John's Cafe that day, Dave remarks that, although, up until then, since he'd moved to the area, no one had ever bought him a drink, except Bear, on occasion, suddenly, that day, people were buying drinks for Dave, although Dave often was not being told who it was. Laura Joyner was bartending.

      • From this time on, when Laura was bartending, there would often be at least two drinks in front of Dave at a time and, as soon as he finished drinking one, another one was put in front of him.

      • Dave at one time explained to me that he is of a culture in which it is an insult to a person to refuse to accept a drink that person has bought for you.  (When this would happen to me, I would explain to the person who wanted to buy me a drink that I only have two drinks - which was usually the case - and, if the person remained insistent, ask if the person minded if I, instead, had the drink the next time I came into that establishment.  In doing this, I soon learned that some establishments had "bar chips" specifically for that purpose.)

      • By the evening after we made our pact, I was starting to become suspicious of this and was trying to find out who was buying Dave's drinks, when Dave was not being told who it was.

      • (also see reference to Jamison liquor in 05/12/03 - hearsay not acceptable in "sightings" nor his actual condition)

      • Until more about this is added to the web site, see the emails listed under furry creep, queen bee and sleazy punk gang on the Quick Reference page

    • Dave keeps getting called away from me to the area where Angie Daughtry is sitting.  From that day on, Angie Daughtry arrives at the time Dave and I had previously been able to socialize together in a more quiet setting.  At one point, Angie Daughtry stops by my house on the way home from work, one afternoon, so that I can give her a thyme plant I'd started for her the year before.  She is only there for a short time, telling to me that she wants to go to John's Cafe because she buys Dave's drinks for him.  [more about this will be added at a later time]

 

  • 05/12/02 finally end my association with heively due to another incident involving his treatment of his mother

  • 05/12/02 anticipation of attempts by Heively

    • Through the number of times, over the years, when I had previously tried, or was trying, to end my association with Heively, there had been indications that Heively was saying things, possibly even doing things, to manipulate my vulnerability to agreeing to resume my association with him.  Even when I was associating with him, there were signs of manipulation, which he would deny when I'd confront him with what I was seeing.  Much of this manipulation was though attempts to isolate me from a social environment.  When I finally ended that association with Bob Heively on May 12, 2002, based on previous attempts I’d made to do so and what I knew of Heively’s personality and those of some of his friends, I anticipated

      • Heively may try to bully me into resuming our association, using some of the tactics he'd used to do so in the past:

        • To persuade me to join Heively in a particular event, "just as friends"

          • Heively would use the unavailability of my friends to do things with me, as I would try to regain the social life I'd lost through my association with Heively

            • once I became associated with Heively, my friends were suddenly "too busy" to be able to accommodate attempts I'd make for us to "get together,"  i.e., saying that they had become heavily involved in family or other activities since the days when we spent time a great deal of time together as close friends

          • Bribe me by offering to take me somewhere, or to do something I hadn't been able to afford to do myself, or wouldn't do alone

            • often, these would be things that Heively had refused to do with me when, on previous friendlier terms with him, I'd asked him to join me, "going dutch"

        • Heively telling other people things that would persuade those people to try to encourage me to resume my association with Heively

      • Heively saying things, possibly even doing things, to other people to discourage them from associating with me

        • [need to add about the "hang-up call" Heively made, allowing me to witness that, then explaining to me what he did but not telling me to whom.  Even that night, which may have even been the night of 05/12/02, I wondered if it were Dave who Heively had called.]

      • Retaliation in the form of harassment aimed at isolating me from other people and alienating me from a social environment

        • against me

        • against anyone who may try to do things that would help me regain my independence from Heively, whether or not that was their intention in doing those things

      • Heively trying to get others to help him in his attempts, whatever they may be

      • Other people helping Heively in his attempts, whatever they may be

        • From what I knew of Bob’s personality and that of some of the friends of his I'd met more recently, I expected retaliation in the form of harassment from them, particularly aimed at isolating me from other people, and things said or done to other people to discourage them from associating with me

    • I felt that it was necessary for me to tell someone about what had recently occurred between Heively and myself and what I was anticipating as a result, so that there would be someone who may be able to help prevent such situations.  I wanted at least one person, who was around me frequently but who didn't have a long-established relationship with Heively, to be aware of what may happen and to watch for these things.

      • Because of the closeness of the community, combined with the length of time during which I'd been associated with Heively, which had been eighteen years, telling someone who had been mutually acquainted with both of us for a long period of time would be inappropriate and may actually help generate the situations I was trying to prevent

    • I select Dave and we make a pact to watch over one another

  • 05/14/02 (approximately) Dave says that he did not want to work at Laura's anymore unless Rus was there

    • In early May, Dave had told me about sheet-rock work he was doing for Laura.  Another conversation, he also told Angie and I that he did not want to work at Laura's anymore unless Rus was there.  I had arrived toward the end of that conversation, and I think Dave was just leaving.  He had evidently been telling Angie of incidents that caused him to make that decision.  I think that, when I asked Angie why Dave said that, she wouldn't tell me.  (I may have more about this in emails I wrote during that time.)

 

  • 05/18/02  "the skit," Saturday evening

    • I had called Angie Daughtry that morning, talking to her about what had happened the night before

    • Dave was just coming out the door of John's Cafe later that afternoon, when I arrived

      • [our conversation with John Lowe]

    • [still need to add much of this from journal and emails of that period]

    • I started to realize that something was going on as Angie Daughtry was quizzing me on terms which, I later learn, are part of the underground vocabulary associated with modern-day slavery activity

    • As I was only partly listening to her, and answering, wondering why she was asking me those questions, Jim Dissone, I think it was, started calling questions out to Dave, as Dave was playing pool.  "Beanery Joe," I think it was, started to join in.  There were very few people in the bar at the time, so it must have been him, because, if I recall, it was more than one man calling out questions to Dave, things like, "Where's your wife, Dave?"  "Why isn't she here in Connecticut with you?"  If I recall, Dave started to just ignore it, but then evidently, as they kept at it, decided to give them as little answer as possible.  I could tell that Dave was trying to not let on that he was getting annoyed.

    • About was probably about then that I realized that the lights that are on are somehow different than what it has been other times that I've been there during that time [detailed account of the skit still needs to be added]

    • At the end, Dave is led out of John's Cafe by these people, while I am left alone there with just Heively and the bartender

    • It's the first time I notice that Heively had been there during that, although I also distinctly recall looking around during the skit, as I start to realize what is going on, and seeing Heively there, looking down at the bar as he tapped his right hand against the side of his forehead, the way he would do when trying to discreetly send a message to someone

    • [more]

    • intimidation

      • show of force/"these people are all on my side"

    • message relayed

      • They want Dave and myself to stay away from each other

      • They obviously did not want me to feel comfortable going into John's Cafe any more

      • more

 

  • 05/22/02 or 05/23/02 Dave and I saw each other, briefly, for the first time since "the skit"

    • Late afternoon, Dave and I see each other, briefly, at John's Cafe.  Dave seemed to have been thinking that he would never see me again.  Wondering why we hadn't seen each other, we tell each other the different times that we'd been in John's Cafe since the time of "the skit," and realize that none of the times had coincided with when the other one of us was there.

      • This may have also been the time that Angie and Jim Dissone arrived and Angie said that Robin had given Jim and Dave an old boat that they can fix up and use.  Dave turned to me and sarcastically said to me something like, "Yeah, just what I need.  A boat!"
         

      • This may have also been the time he became very serious and told me, "These people are sociopaths." [need to check journal]

      • Jim Dissone turned to Dave and said, "Come on, we gotta go." before Dave and I could continue much of our conversation



       

    • Until the full account of this is added to the web site, please see emails listed on the Quick Reference page under queen bee and Leading up to Dave's abduction

      •  



    • players



    • puzzle pieces

 

 

  • 06/02/02 Dave tells me that "they" buried all "stuff" in his apartment in 4(?) feet of books

    • David arrived at John's Cafe on a Sunday afternoon and was complaining to me that his back was aching because he'd just spent the last few hours removing books that had been piled on his things.  I ask him to repeat what he'd said, because the story was so bizarre that I thought I misunderstood

    • The following is extracted from an email of about June 2003, but was probably taken from my journal in which, from 05/17/02 to about 05/30/03, I was recording incidents as they happened:

      • Dave told me that he'd spent the whole day unburying his things, that "they" piled about 4(?) feet of books on all of his "stuff."  He wouldn't tell me who "they" were. At the time, I just took it to mean that he really didn't know, other than that there were evidently people harassing him

      • He was in a really bad head that day, until we were together for a while. But I wanted to know more of what was going on and he evidently wanted to talk to me in private, also.  So I drove him home from John's Cafe that night, the only time I did. But when we got to where he lived, Sam Libby was there, someone who usually worked in the marina office, downstairs. When Dave realized he was there, as we approached the door, he said, "Now, what is he doing here?" It was a Sunday night, about 12:30 or 1 in the morning. So we couldn't talk. Because of that, I almost immediately said I was leaving. I could tell that Dave was really disappointed but, at the time, he wasn't someone who would tell me that.

      • He went out to my car with me. I may have asked him then if he were being threatened. I was asking him that, from time to time, all through the summer and he'd always tell me, No, until he finally told me on 7/21 that he was. But that night by my car, I asked him if he'd made a promise not to call me on the phone. For a while there before that, he'd ask me for my cellphone number 3 or 4 times, because it kept getting "missing" from his wallet. (Turns out that it was probably being taken out of his wallet by Laura Joyner, the bartender, who also lived next to Dave and who Dave was also doing work for at her house from time to time.) He told me that the reason he hadn't called me was that he'd been TOLD not to call me - with extra emphasis on TOLD.  He may have even repeated that a few times. "I've been TOLD." He told me that it wasn't Sal, that she was alright with "all of this." But he wouldn't tell me who TOLD him.  I asked him if would be upset if he were to call me and he said something like, "No, Sal's alright about all of this."


    • After that night, Dave wasn't seen for at least a week, possibly even almost two weeks

       

    • Until the full account of this is added to the web site, please see emails listed on the Quick Reference page under MKS and Leading up to Dave's abduction

    • Note that I also found his apartment in this state the morning after his abduction

 

Some of the later developments related to or that followed these events

 

 

 

 

 

WORK ON THIS PAGE IS STILL IN PROGRESS

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